The Heartbroken Girl Who's Now moved on
by KawaiiMavis
Summary: To all my followers wondering where I've been, this ones for you. Just a little piece of my life, to you.


There was a girl at the age of 15, whose name isn't very important right now, but she was what most people define as the life of the party. Her smile lit up the room, and her laugh filled others with joy or at least, it used to be until she started dating a boy. The boy's name was Toby. When they first met, it was as if life could not have been better. They met at a party, and they talked the night away about silly things like their fears and dreams. Toby's dream was to be in the military, it had always been one his biggest goals and she respected that. She was just so happy to have met such an incredible human being. She had this boy who absolutely adored her, she was his world, and the feeling of being so cared for and wanted added a glow to her life. During their first year, all she had to do was look into his eyes and she saw the love, tenderness, and respect he had for her. Those eyes, it told her everything, and oh, how much he truly loved her. And for her, he was the guy of her dreams. He was a sweet old soul, charming, he made her laugh and he gave her butterflies like no one else had ever done. Their love was innocence, in every sense of the word.

As the first year of them being together came to an end, they grew quite close. They were inseparable, always by each other's side, hands always intertwined. She was his best friend, and she trusted him like no one else. He confided all his feelings and secrets in her, and he was the first person she came to when anything was wrong. He met her family, and she met his. Nothing felt more right, more permanent, like it would last forever. But that unfortunately, was where she made a mistake.

See, she told herself she would never let anyone get too close, no one would ever touch her heart with all the walls she put up. Somehow, though, he managed to tear all of them down and he got to the bare, rawness of her feelings. He weaseled his way in. Yes, weaseled, my dear readers, and I'll tell you why. See, during a school trip the boy hurt his ankle. He was concerned that this injury was going to keep him away from realizing his dream, so he went to talk to a recruiter. The recruiter confirmed his worst nightmare, he would never be allowed to enlist. He was lost, he had no back up plan, and he didn't know what to do. However the girl, she did have plans. Her plan was to continue her education and go to college. She made a promise to Toby, that she would stay faithful and that she would work hard to keep their relationship going, she always promised this. About half the school year in, she realizes the boy has developed some bad habits in her absence. Although it broke her heart, he promised he wouldn't do it again and she believed him. But it happened again. And after that last time, nothing would ever be the same.

She became a little cold with him. But could you blame her? She loved Toby and he betrayed her trust over and over again. She had no choice but to build up the walls again. She loved and trusted him so much, it was as if she had literally ripped her heart out and handed it to him expecting him to never close his fists to tightly around it, but that's exactly what he did. You see, as the girl approached her sophomore year of college, Toby decided he wanted to also attend school in Arizona. A couple weeks later, he moved! The girl and Toby were very excited, they got to be closer to each other. Soon after, Toby's uncle moved to Arizona as well. He was a strong, male lead in Toby's life.

For a while, they talked about the military and Toby's life. His uncle suggested he talk to another recruiter to see if his chances really were cut out. Long story short, Toby was still able to enlist and that's exactly what he did. The girl cried every night since he told her. She loved him so much, he was her life they had planned a future together. Now, he was going away for a long time, going to risk his life for his country his life long dream. It was overwhelming, it consumed her constantly, she was clinically depressed. The worse part of all, was that Toby changed. He was always too busy for her when she needed him and the part that sucked the most? She was there for him, 24 hours a day 7 days a week. She was a full time student, with a part-time job who suffered from clinical depression and anxiety. She never told him. She never told him she took pills every morning. Because after being together for a while she didn't need to take the medication anymore, he was her happiness. She would do anything to see him happy. So as the depression slowly creeped its way back in, she tried to find comfort in her boyfriend but Toby just didn't care. Everything else was more important to him than her, even though he was always her number one.

October 6th, the girl and Toby have their normal day to day conversation. But you need to understand, she was tired. Tired of being treated like she meant nothing like she came last to everything else in this goddamn world. Fucking tired. Because she was ready to give him the fucking world, and he decided it was time they went their separate ways. He decided the military was enough to fill the unfillable void of appreciation in his heart. He decided the military meant more to him than the human being on the other side of the phone. The girl who stood by his side through every fucking event in his life. She was there when he broke his ankle, every god damn football game, every fucking useless career change, every dream, she was there. And when she needed him most, when she needed him to be there for her he fucking leaves, you guys. He walks away like it was the easiest thing he's ever done is life and he left me irreversibly destroyed. Yeah, me. He walked out and never looked back, not one text or call ever again because that's how fucking easy it was for him to pick himself up and go. And all I could do was sit there and not let the darkness of depression take over every inch of my life. Dear readers of mine, I picked myself up and moved forward.

I look back on the three years we were together, and I hold no remorse towards "Toby". He is an amazing guy, with a big love for his family and even bigger love for protecting his country. See, even though to me I will only always remember him as the douchebag ex-boyfriend who left me once he got at the top of his game and threw three years of friendship down the toilet, even though there was a shooting at my school and he didn't even ask if I was okay, I don't hate him. One day, Toby will make a lucky girl very happy and they'll be perfect for each other and the thought makes me so happy for him. Why? Because right now, I'm happy. So, so happy.

I have a best friend who is in the Navy also, we'll call him John. He's a corpsman. When Toby and I broke up John picked me up. He is amazing, he sees so much value in me he made me open my eyes to a beautiful world of "moving on". I've never felt so cherished, so loved and appreciated. No, we are not dating and no that's not in my plans. John's just this amazing human being who tells me any guy on this planet would be lucky to have me. He tells me one day I will find a guy whose sole purpose to waking up in the morning is to see my smile. John is my best friend, and he will protect me from anyone and anything that tries to hurt me. He's currently stationed in Hawaii, and he is coming back home on leave to see me because we're from the same hometown. And this makes me happy.

To "Toby": Chances are you're currently reading this because you're one of my followers. I don't regret our three years together, they were fun. During the last year, however, my mom told me she noticed you didn't look at me with the same eyes anymore, moms know these kind of things. I guess we just ran our course. A lot of times I wonder why you never texted after we broke up, that was pretty fucked up but maybe it was for the better. I wish you nothing but the best of luck on your way to boot camp. I'm sorry if the officers are extra mean to you, turns out I have many friends in the Navy who love me very much and also think what you did to me was fucked up. I told them not to worry about it but you never know with these military guys, always wanting to protect their own and to them, I'm family. (No but seriously don't worry about it lol you're fine.) I loved you very much, whole heartedly I did. But now it is with a clear conscious and freed heart that I say I no longer love you. I care for you, I hope your life is fulfilling with an overabundance of joy and love, but I do not love you. Please stay safe, thank you for your service and for your love, baby. I'm good now, I'm over it. Continue your life, you're going to accomplish great things!

\- A once kitty princess, now a queen of her own world.


End file.
